vida's story
Vida and her husband were married for almost fifty-three years and not one of them were pleasant or free from pain.
“Although I am still afraid I feel like my life is now my own.” She was married back home by arranged marriage and he was abusive from the first day they were husband and wife. But she never thought of leaving. A woman stayed with her husband and that was that. She never discussed the issue with her sister, friends or mother. How could she? She had seen her father hit her mother many times. “I used to think, that’s what men do. But he never touched the kids so I figured I’d be okay. I thought that maybe I could leave once my sons went to school but I couldn’t. Then things got worse.
Without them around to watch after me he started to beat me more often. I was afraid to even look at him the wrong way. He kept all the money. We only had one account and he was in charge. I was never allowed to spend money without first asking his permission. The final beating was too much for me to handle. He broke my nose and cut all my hair off. When he was tired of hitting me he demanded that I have sex with him. I can remember praying to God to make him stop. When he finally passed out I called the police and begged them to come. The police arrested him and called an ambulance for me. I was in the hospital for more than a week.
While I was in there I was referred to Victim Services. They told me about the court process and how to get a restraining order. What would I do once he was out of jail? The Victim Services counsellor gave me the number for the YWCA December 6 Fund and said I can get a loan to help me cover moving costs or help me out with first and lasts month’s rent. The Fund gave me a loan for $500 and I used it toward moving costs. Although I am still afraid I feel like my life is now my own.”
One of the key factors which prevent women from leaving abusive partners is lack of income. YWCA Toronto opened its first employment program in 1875, and we have been dedicated to improving the working life of women in Toronto ever since. We have specially designed programs to serve women who are survivors of abuse, in abusive situations or are at risk of abuse. Moving on to Success
offers a range of innovative, holistic and individualized services training and employment supports to women, enabling them to build their self-esteem, employability skills and move on to socio-economic stability.
YWCA helps people plan job searches, brush up on English for the workplace, or re-enter the paid work after raising children. Our programs help women link with employers for job placements, gain access to the latest job market information and internet job research, and prepare for the working world after a period of unemployment or relocation, or after receiving social assistance.
